I've sporadically had 'Singing in the Rain' in my head for about 3 months now

... is it odd that I'm not irritated?!

Well I did it - I cried in the store - just another cliche to add to the list entlted  I'm Not A Teacher Who ...

In a way it did nothing but make me realise that I'm strong and I'm bloody amazing at my job.  I know it sounds trite and all but you know what ... I don't care!  I have had an amazing realisation that *I* am enough ... just me ... I have strength, I have talents and I am good at what I do. 

OK, so between school and church (and the odd few hours sleeping) I have around 8 hours a week to myself ... but who said that's a bad thing?! 
When I was a baby, everything was about me (and the fuzzy blobs who kept be clean and fed)
When I was a toddler I was given plenty of pinches on the cheek and ruffles to the hair
As a child I wanted for nothing and I never once felt alone
And those typical teenage years brought a whirlwind of self-realisation, self-doubt, self-abuse and just a pinch of self-obsession.

So now, at 22, nothing is about me ... I've had my turn.  Now I get to be in the indescribable position where I see my successes reflected in those people around me.

Right now I'm in a new place ... and I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.



~*~

I wear a disguise
I'm just your average jane
The super doesn't stand for model
But that doesn't mean I'm plain
If all you see is how I look
You miss the superchick within
And I christen you titanic - underestimate and swim

And I'll be everything that I want to be  
I am confidence in insecurity
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world

And I'm a one girl revolution

Some people see the revolution but most only the see girl
I can lose my hard earned freedom if my fear defines my world
I declare my independence from the critics and their stones
I can find my revolution I can learn to stand alone...

[thanks superchic(k)]

You don't realise how much you rely on technology, or more specifically your own space on the world wide web until it's taken away.

I've had the same email account for about 5 years now, I've used it for so many things,

• procrastination
• bebo alerts
• online shopping
• pointless long questionnaires
• contact with friends and relatives overseas
• receiving but yet rarely passing on hilarious forwards (and some not so hilarious ones)
• business
• pleasure
• ... and anything that's in between

That was until somewhere between 1pm and 2:30pm today when someone hacked my email and locked me out, ensuring that the job was well done by changing my secret question to Chinese and changing the answer while they were at it.

It seems like such a trivial thing, so easily replaceable.  But then you have to think of a new username that someone else hasn't managed to get first, of course.  Then you spend half the day trying to remember all the sites that have that email listed for contact and begin the laborious task of changing your details on every last one.
And then you have to start a new MSN account - and try to remember even half of the emails that you had listed there before.  Then you realise that while you may have only spoken to half those people on christmas and birthdays, email/msn was the only way you could do that because mobile phones have come and gone over the years.

Then suddenly - it's not so trivial after all.

Hey - that's right ... it's me!!!

I managed to get 2 secs to look on my LJ.  (I find Bebo too busy - it hurts my brain!)

This will be somewhat brief - just needed to vent that uni is sucking beyond the telling of it at the moment!!  People are tapdancing on my last nerve and I'm running the risk of burnout!!! I mean I'll be fine (mostly beacause I have no alternative) but I haven't had the best day (/week/month) ever.  And tiredness isn't really helping much.

Although we did get to play with playdoh for a while this afternoon so it wasn't all bad!! :D

Sorry that I always seems to be moaning on my journal (which like no-one reads anyway!) ... it's just an easy way to let it out so my head doesn't explode!!

If you've taken the time to actually read this then thanks (and sorry for stealing 2 mins that you're just never getting back)
Hopefully my next entry (whenever the hell that'll be) will be a bit happier.

Much Love,
K  xox

Well people, just thought I'd post an add on to the last, rather frantic message.

Turns out that I am in fact not completely crap!  My tutor was totally impressed and said I was one of the most competent ST's she had ever seen!!   So check me!! hehe

It makes me feel pretty great about myself!!  Because, to be honest, I was really starting to let things pile down on top of me and it was getting to me in an epic way!

Of course I still have 4 lessons to plan for tomorrow so I guess I better get back to that.  Don't want to be calling Linda a liar.

Talk about no rest for the wicked ... I must be part demon!

Hugs

K xox

Days left til in-class assessment ... 2 (well one and a half effectively ... actually less if you allow for sleeping and teaching hours)

And here are the numbers for the things I have to do for my Teaching Practice File as part of the assessment ...

Lesson Plans still to be typed up ... 14
Lessons still to be devised ... 7
Unit plans to be re-written ... 5
Unit plans still to be devised and typed up ... 2
Preparatory notes to be written ... all!!!

No part of me likes that math!!
... not forgetting of course - Number of pupils in the 2 observed classes on Daily Report Cards ... 7!!!

And I'm tired and more than a little cranky which really doesn't help matters much!!

I do have to say that I'm rather loving being able to vent all this here - god bless you LJ!  Means I'm much less likely to bitch and moan to my friends and family.
... course if I could just train you to do all that work for me then I'd really be set!

Ok so I wasted a bit of my morning on here fiddling about with some stuff ... and now I'm wondering if it was wise for me, the queen of the procrastinators, to have started a Livejournal!

Not only did I fritter away a fair part of the morning, but I have sooooooooooooo much lesson planning to be doing right now and I appear to be typing another entry!!

AARRGGHH!!

... course I'm gonna stick it out!  Not only is it a fun distraction, but it'll also really help when I'm rich and famous and someone asks me to write my memoirs.  Ctrl+A, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V baybee!!!

K   xox

OK so I'd first like to mention to those of you who know me well, I'm well aware that's not me in my user pic. However, I feel that this place is much more public than Bebo etc and so I decided to hide behind Emily Deschanel (or more accurately her character on 'Bones', Dr. Temperance Brennan). So that explains that!

Secondly, still aiming this at the people I know who I've managed to find on here in the short space of time I've had this running, I fear that my journal is somewhat hollow. You all (well all 3 I've found so far) seem to be using your journal to write about very important things, and I really only got one to see what the fuss was about and to serve as a release for some of my crazier musings. So I apologise in advance for the lack of definite purpose you may see on here, compared to your own. Unfortunately, my life isn't half as full as yours and I gotta make do with what I've got.

So anyway - I just wanted to get those couple of things out there in case any of you bothered to read it.

Take care
K xo

OK so I created an LJ account so long ago I can't remember the details. I know I didn't use it for very long at the time so I decided just to get a new one.
... hence this all being a little sparse!

I'm not sure that I'm going to be one for blogging but I decided to give it a whirl and see what happens.

So fingers crossed this isn't the first and last entry on here!!

Katy
xox